In hospice we speak the language of the dying. I’m not being morbid. It’s just what we do. End of life care is designed to care for those who are seriously ill, approaching the end of their lives.
The Heart of Hospice, LLC
We know it. They know it. Everybody knows it.
So why do we avoid using the real words? Why is it so hard to say death” or “dying? We like to gloss death over with phrases that don’t sound so hard. Even hospice professionals use the softer terms like “passed” or “transitioning”.
As a society we do everything we can to avoid death right up to the very last minute. Preserving youthful looks through plastic surgery. Last minute “Hail Mary” chemotherapies that won’t work but it makes us feel like we’re doing something to stave off what’s coming. Medically futile treatments that people demand and healthcare professionals allows, all the while knowing that a change in focus to palliative care and hospice is really the right way to go. We don’t even like to talk about it. For lots of people, a death discussion is a serious social blunder.
Saying the words death and dying don’t actually make anything terrible happen. Yes, they’re descriptive words that tear our hearts out. Dying means loss and separation and pain. There are times when softer terms need to be used. I’ve used them myself when the culture of a family calls for a more gentle touch.
Here’s how I know this is real. I’ve been working in the hospice industry for ten years now. I’ve probably said “death” thousands of times. And I’m still alive. I’m not magic and I don’t make anything happen just by talking about my death, or anyone else’s death.
Take back the power of dealing with dying. Use the words that describe the event accurately. Call death what it really is. Speak the unspeakable and find strength in the truth of the words.
No matter who you are, or where you are in your hospice journey, you are The Heart of Hospice.