When you’re a caregiver, self care is a challenge. It takes brain power and focus that you might not always have. It doesn’t matter if you’re one of the over 40 million unpaid caregivers, or if you’re a end of life professional making your living in the hospice industry. Self care takes work, regardless of your caregiving role. Caregivers don’t always have “extra” time for self care, or the energy to make it happen.
Here’s what often ran through my caregiving brain when I worked in the field as a hospice nurse. Self care – that’s pampering, right? How is that supposed to happen when I can’t even get enough sleep? No time for self care when I move from my paid job as a nurse case manager into my unpaid job as a mom and caregiver for two kids. Does running the roads (in my car) count as exercise?
It took me a long time – and a lot of self care mistakes – to realize how crucial it is to take care of myself. I’m not nursing at the bedside in my current job, but I know I still need to practice healthy self care. The biggest challenge for me is being consistent. Any change in my routine completely throws me off. A family event that changes my schedule, especially one that includes a meal that doesn’t have healthy food options, shatters my dedication to caring for myself. Conference calls that go through lunch, a remodel at my gym, bad weather, the biannual time changes where I live. Confession: sometimes I’m simply feeling lazy and undisciplined.
Yesterday was one of those “off routine” days. My amazing daughter had her 29th birthday, and we celebrated at her house most of the day. The food was awesome. I know this because I ate a lot of it. Homemade fudge, potato salad, mindless grazing while I caught up with my brother and sister. I had a stomach ache in addition to feeling guilty about missing my workout. I totally fell off of the self care wagon.
The mental impact of falling short of my healthy self care goals takes a toll on me. Regret sits with me for a long time, and I have a tendency to ruminate over the mistakes I’ve made. Time for some self care forgiveness. So yesterday’s care of self wasn’t so great. Today is a new today. I have a chance for a do-over. So do you.
If your self care is leaning towards the unhealthy side, know that you can get it back on track. I’m still learning to be flexible and create workarounds for my self care activities. It’s a daily task. Sometimes it’s even hour-to-hour work. A healthy self care regimen is always a work in progress.
So pick yourself up and start over today. Remember that even the smallest self care moments you create between caregiving tasks can make a difference in how you feel. Great impact can be gained in simply taking a few deep breaths or making a gratitude list. Give it a try. You’re totally worth taking care of.
No matter who you are, or where you are in your hospice journey, you are The Heart of Hospice.